Born In The Wrong World

PERSONAL THOUGHTS (NOT IDEALS)

There have been days in my life that i tend to believe that i have been born in the wrong world or maybe the wrong era. the ideals i believe in are entirely absent in the world. People talk, people say but they never feel what they want to believe in. Everybody believes in sharing happiness but in the search of happiness we tend to forget to share and then to be happy. Everybody says that i need this from others but we never really register that we never give the same thing to others.

When we lack support from our friends we hate them for never being there for us but how many times have we been there for them. Even from my childhood i believe in being an altruist. It was being an altruist that was more important to me than being religious or social. I left social norms and laws, avoided the religion that i used to believe in quite a lot. People who know me now and how i avoid the religious events would be startled to hear that there was a time i remembered the whole "Hanuman Chalisa", lots of chapters of "bhagvat gita" and endless lines of prayers to be said from the time i woke up to the time i went up to sleep. I did not believe it would help others rather a way to self belief which made me the agnostic i am.

My family would never even know that most of the things i lost in my school time were the things i usually ended up giving to the needy. From the sweater i gave to a beggar on walk back home to the book i gave a friend 2 days from exams. Altruism became the hope i had in this world. This became the only true way to live life. It was the lack of benignancy that was the sole reason that i left a perfect girl of my dreams and am still unable to replace her.

Everybody knows the virtue of forgiveness and believe that every fault of theirs is pardonable because they believe that whatever the fault maybe they never meant any ill. This is one thing i found in every person i meet but i still could not find people easily forgiving. I have been trying to attain this virtue for a long time; For if i can forgive, i have already attained the virtue of tolerance, understanding, trust and non enmity. If there was a test of forgiveness i may guarantee i will get passed easily, for i never live in past and no deed in future is predictable. If i may tend to forgive i believed the world is all forgiving but it turned out to be the exact opposite. I found it the exact replica of Mark Anthony's lines which i may quote as i remember it now. "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones". If there is a reason for it, i know it not. I believe life has plenty of lessons remaining to teach me maybe this will be one of those that may come later in life.

If there was time and memory i may have made a novel out of this one. But as it is but a page of my life i will leave it here before i end up losing hope in this world. There may come a day that i will find the world i believe should exist and then maybe i will come to read this page and think that everything in the world is possible.