When I was younger, friends told me that they appreciate me because I am so ready to help them... a friend who listens, a shoulder to cry on, and has a ready advise for many of their problems. Now as an adult, friends still come to me in times of need and problems. Yet I don't see myself as effective as I was before. I wonder why... I'm not so compassionate now as I was when I was then... feeling the pain or lose or devastation of a friend... I feel I'm more detached... As if I'm just an observer from a faraway place and not really with my friend... I wanted to reach out, hug to soothe the pain, hold hand to comfort, and even just cry to let them know I'm feeling the pain... But I can't do it anymore. Sometimes I need to feel my heart if its still there beating, because I often think it has turned into a stone. I'm not happy about it anymore... I'm not content to just listen and give advice I wanted to be a real friend who is with my friend in times of need. What has lead me to these changes? Is it my past hurts and pain? The bad experiences that I had? Or the people who rejected and failed me too? I'm longing for that tender heart I once had, the heart of flesh.
I am just in college so i am thinking i am still young. My friends would always come to me whenever they had any problems. Every time they had any problem they would come to me looking for solutions or help and for problems that can not be solved a person who will make them forget those problems. Even till this day people know me as "a person who is ready to help others in every condition" - i got this as message from "D".
I am thinking that as we grow older our will for helping other is but the same. It is the degree of problems that increases. When you have got more friends with different problems and whose problems becomes more complex and difficult it is difficult to keep up. I always forget my problems pretty soon as if i never have any problems. So i never spend any time in solving my own problems. Some time in later stages of life with work or family or even life as it is, there may be some problems that i cannot solve or problems that i may need to solve if such things happens we will always look for others to help but then with our own problems to solve our mind is not solely helping but interleaved in solving our own and others problems.
It is not easy to know that your help throughout your life was not so important to people you love and cared for. If you have cared for people enough then you look for similar care which you do not get in life. That is the loss of having a loving and compassionate heart in an impassive world but if you live strong enough then you will be the strongest man in the world even if it be for your own self. This has always been my aim in life, to be the strongest man in the world. Stop looking at others for help or consent to acknowledge your efforts. When you depend on anybody for help you always end up thinking that even when i help, still i do not get help so why help ? Well the best way is to stop depending and the next best stop thinking. I just take the not depending attitude in life. Also people who help like to keep low profile so i think when you help the others realize you have helped but do not acknowledge it but you should know deep in there hearts they have done that ten times. So let it be.
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Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Rainy Day - 21st June
I had told my friend that i am gonna write about this day so here i am writing after so many days. The day had started wonderfully as it was another one of the days of my holidays. The usual part of the day was getting up late, after having been slept at 3 a.m. in the night or rather we can say day. Getting up at around 11 and starting my computer even before brushing teeth. As had been most of my days this day too went on joyfully as i enjoyed the freedom of doing nothing as such and but anything i wanted which comes during the holidays. The best part was just starting and i found about it in the evening.
For starters, i went shopping with a friend of mine which meant a difference from daily routine. Just bought some cloths for him and some gifts for his relations. It took us a lot of time to find parking space as we were in one of the busiest areas of the city (jail road). My training classes were just nearby so we shopped with ease till the last minute as there was minute chance of getting late. Finally when we had completed our shopping and i had left my friend to take a bus home. At this time the real essence of my story - THE RAIN - started to fall. I was just at a distance of about 1 kilometer from the class but even then till the time i reached the class i was absolutely drenched in water. It had rained cats and dogs, it was not even a rain but a heavy deluge. My t-shirt was so wet that when i took it off in bathroom to try to dry it, as i squeezed it the water which fell had filled half of a bucket. Lacking time i went to my class dripping loads of water, at every step that i took. I was the first to come to my class. The faculty there after seeing me so wet offered me not just any handkerchief or towel but the whole bedsheet. Few minutes of drying and standing below the fan had normalized me enough to be wet without leaving watermarks everywhere.
Just few moments later i got a call from my sister that she had reached the class and was also drenched pretty badly though not as badly as i was. So the size of the bedsheets were tested as we both had used it. We both were the only people on the class who made it that day as others didn't come due to the rain. That day was one of the best days of my life as i had the most fun i ever had with her. I do not know about her though, as this may not be the very best of her days, the reason for that will be clear later. So we both had lots of talk and fun with each other and yes also some few moments of studies that ended when the class got over around 7. What next ? The rain was still falling like Armageddon was close and the earth would end as one big water ball. The whole roads were flooded such that there was knee deep water just outside our class and all along the route. The icing on the cake was that my sister's vehicle wouldn't start. For half an hour, we took turns trying to kick start her ride which really told me that why a self start in my vehicle is so necessary. Finally we decided to leave her vehicle in the class itself and she took the ride back home with me. Well this is reason enough to make this ride a joy ride but this was not all the fun. Imagine travelling on knee deep water with continuous rainfall and you have your sister sitting behind you who has just recovered from an leg injury from an road accident. Even after all this we were travelling on new routes and dimly visible roads to avoid the roads fully submerged in water and craters(not holes). Well it was one heck of a ride. I will definitely remember this day for a long period and whenever i read this post again.
For my sister thanks for making this day so special.
For starters, i went shopping with a friend of mine which meant a difference from daily routine. Just bought some cloths for him and some gifts for his relations. It took us a lot of time to find parking space as we were in one of the busiest areas of the city (jail road). My training classes were just nearby so we shopped with ease till the last minute as there was minute chance of getting late. Finally when we had completed our shopping and i had left my friend to take a bus home. At this time the real essence of my story - THE RAIN - started to fall. I was just at a distance of about 1 kilometer from the class but even then till the time i reached the class i was absolutely drenched in water. It had rained cats and dogs, it was not even a rain but a heavy deluge. My t-shirt was so wet that when i took it off in bathroom to try to dry it, as i squeezed it the water which fell had filled half of a bucket. Lacking time i went to my class dripping loads of water, at every step that i took. I was the first to come to my class. The faculty there after seeing me so wet offered me not just any handkerchief or towel but the whole bedsheet. Few minutes of drying and standing below the fan had normalized me enough to be wet without leaving watermarks everywhere.
Just few moments later i got a call from my sister that she had reached the class and was also drenched pretty badly though not as badly as i was. So the size of the bedsheets were tested as we both had used it. We both were the only people on the class who made it that day as others didn't come due to the rain. That day was one of the best days of my life as i had the most fun i ever had with her. I do not know about her though, as this may not be the very best of her days, the reason for that will be clear later. So we both had lots of talk and fun with each other and yes also some few moments of studies that ended when the class got over around 7. What next ? The rain was still falling like Armageddon was close and the earth would end as one big water ball. The whole roads were flooded such that there was knee deep water just outside our class and all along the route. The icing on the cake was that my sister's vehicle wouldn't start. For half an hour, we took turns trying to kick start her ride which really told me that why a self start in my vehicle is so necessary. Finally we decided to leave her vehicle in the class itself and she took the ride back home with me. Well this is reason enough to make this ride a joy ride but this was not all the fun. Imagine travelling on knee deep water with continuous rainfall and you have your sister sitting behind you who has just recovered from an leg injury from an road accident. Even after all this we were travelling on new routes and dimly visible roads to avoid the roads fully submerged in water and craters(not holes). Well it was one heck of a ride. I will definitely remember this day for a long period and whenever i read this post again.
For my sister thanks for making this day so special.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
How to keep your friends forever
Humans are social creatures and from the moment of birth we tend to seek our place in the civlization. Every person begins his life's journey by looking for companions who will be accompaning him throughout their lives. It is the companion with whom, we can share our feelings and belongings. This companion without whom our life will be a barren wasteland. Such companion is our friend.
When we are young, we make friends very easily and it is at this time span that our friendship blossoms the most. It is the time when we just start to age that we become more and more choosy and possessive. It is from this time on that the only freinds we make are the ones that join us in our paths. We mostly make friends with the people that we study with, the people tha we play with and later the people that we work with. Every friend we make is thrust upon us by destiny. The ease of friendship is lost. So is the truthfullness and our nature of sharing everything that we have.
There is only one way to live and that way is to share. We never look behind to the days that when we shared our joys and sorrows with our friends. Our sorrows were not so sad and life empty but our joys would increase manifold. When we share everything with our friends our bonds are always very strong. For every friendship is based on trust and as long as your friend trusts you he will never leave you. What better way to prove your trust to your friend than haring every moment with your friend.
The next step in friendship is forgiveness. Everytime you forgive your friend only brings you more closer to him or her. when you forgive somebody then he will that your trust in their friendship is more than any damage he may have caused and he will trust you evermore. The final piece in the puzzle of friendship is the most important one. It is respect for each others freedom. you must always respect your friends choices and assist them whenever you can and want to. If you cannot respect what your friend says or does then you will never be able to assume that they will respect your ways.
If you can have all of these virtues with every person that comes in contact with you then you will not only be the best of friends with everybody but also the luckiest person on the earth. It is only the luckiest person on earth that can share all his life surrounded by the best of his friends. It is such life that you must desire and make efforts for.
When we are young, we make friends very easily and it is at this time span that our friendship blossoms the most. It is the time when we just start to age that we become more and more choosy and possessive. It is from this time on that the only freinds we make are the ones that join us in our paths. We mostly make friends with the people that we study with, the people tha we play with and later the people that we work with. Every friend we make is thrust upon us by destiny. The ease of friendship is lost. So is the truthfullness and our nature of sharing everything that we have.
There is only one way to live and that way is to share. We never look behind to the days that when we shared our joys and sorrows with our friends. Our sorrows were not so sad and life empty but our joys would increase manifold. When we share everything with our friends our bonds are always very strong. For every friendship is based on trust and as long as your friend trusts you he will never leave you. What better way to prove your trust to your friend than haring every moment with your friend.
The next step in friendship is forgiveness. Everytime you forgive your friend only brings you more closer to him or her. when you forgive somebody then he will that your trust in their friendship is more than any damage he may have caused and he will trust you evermore. The final piece in the puzzle of friendship is the most important one. It is respect for each others freedom. you must always respect your friends choices and assist them whenever you can and want to. If you cannot respect what your friend says or does then you will never be able to assume that they will respect your ways.
If you can have all of these virtues with every person that comes in contact with you then you will not only be the best of friends with everybody but also the luckiest person on the earth. It is only the luckiest person on earth that can share all his life surrounded by the best of his friends. It is such life that you must desire and make efforts for.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Religion - Battle for Gods
Battle of Religions
I wanted to avoid this one but with the increase in amount of people trying to convince me in Gods, Religion and Religious Ceremonies. I had to state the obvious. People believe in Gods for they believe in religion. Such is there belief sometimes that they even want to take the life of a fellow being to prove the supremacy of their own belief. My friends say these are kind of people who will kill for any reason, contrary to my belief that a man who kills others always has a reason to do so. So does religion only cause death or is it also the oracle of doom.
Gods as we call them or rather God if You have your own sole belief. If i take my religion for example there are Gods for everything like the God of wind, fire, water, sky, and even death(similar to Greek, Norse or even Egyptian but more in number). Gods were supposed to do anything but they were similar to humans(having properties similar to them, properties like anger, revenge, even war). If you call them Gods then all living beings would be God. If your belief is that there is a sole creator that has created the world and looks after it then you may be near the truth but yet far away. There may be a single creator for somebody has to be there if a thing is made for having made it but then the cycle is a never ending one. Existence of something means creation of it and Creation requires a Creator then who created the Creator. When i was younger i had given a lot of thought to this. My only conclusion was that there was no God to start the world. Then what was there in the world? How did we or our creator come into being? The only answer is the existence of a non-existent world(A world of nothing). If I had to believe in any God the it would be a God of Nothing and we do not need to worship anything if we believe in nothing.
A majority of people believe in after life. They think that as they never received any justice in this world they would get it in the another place after their death. Then why not die now if you dream of a place so great like heaven that is waiting for you on the other side. Why live in this world of diplomacy and survival. The reason is that there is no heaven and there is no hell. We came from nothing and to nothing we will go. So if you have anything to do or complete you will have to do it in this life and in this world. People who believe in parallel worlds. Just a friendly reminder that the sheer size of world is enough to have uncountable worlds at infinite distance from each other so that no world interferes with the other.
It is easy to see even if the belief of God is established then there are various religions there to pray or praise them. Why is there a need for people to pray ? Priests say that God loves his people and he needs to be prayed; for him to help them. Tell me if you loved somebody you would want him to ask you every time he wanted or you would give him anything he wanted even if he doesn't ask for it.what about gifts then shouldn't they be given to people you love. These reasons deal with the concept of prayers. If not tell me how do you look at this world. A world that consists of poverty, war, sadness, hatred. If theses were created in this world by the creator then such imperfection or lack of control is nothing to be praised or thanked about. I would rather like to rebel against his judgment and creation and would recreate the whole world than live in this one suffering. So why would anybody want to thank him. There may be devil who created these but as everybody says the creator can only be one so he is either a God or a Devil. If it is Devil, then we can all agree on the fact that we would never ever worship a devil. Even if it is the God then who wants to worship a God who has created evil and vices in this world. He may have created good but why did he think important to also introduce evil. Is it not his weakness or are we just his tools so that he may watch and play with us. As long as i live i would think about these things and until i find proof about God i would live to be called agnostic. So if you find an answer or reason for any of the above you may still try convincing me or else just forget it.
I wanted to avoid this one but with the increase in amount of people trying to convince me in Gods, Religion and Religious Ceremonies. I had to state the obvious. People believe in Gods for they believe in religion. Such is there belief sometimes that they even want to take the life of a fellow being to prove the supremacy of their own belief. My friends say these are kind of people who will kill for any reason, contrary to my belief that a man who kills others always has a reason to do so. So does religion only cause death or is it also the oracle of doom.
Gods as we call them or rather God if You have your own sole belief. If i take my religion for example there are Gods for everything like the God of wind, fire, water, sky, and even death(similar to Greek, Norse or even Egyptian but more in number). Gods were supposed to do anything but they were similar to humans(having properties similar to them, properties like anger, revenge, even war). If you call them Gods then all living beings would be God. If your belief is that there is a sole creator that has created the world and looks after it then you may be near the truth but yet far away. There may be a single creator for somebody has to be there if a thing is made for having made it but then the cycle is a never ending one. Existence of something means creation of it and Creation requires a Creator then who created the Creator. When i was younger i had given a lot of thought to this. My only conclusion was that there was no God to start the world. Then what was there in the world? How did we or our creator come into being? The only answer is the existence of a non-existent world(A world of nothing). If I had to believe in any God the it would be a God of Nothing and we do not need to worship anything if we believe in nothing.
A majority of people believe in after life. They think that as they never received any justice in this world they would get it in the another place after their death. Then why not die now if you dream of a place so great like heaven that is waiting for you on the other side. Why live in this world of diplomacy and survival. The reason is that there is no heaven and there is no hell. We came from nothing and to nothing we will go. So if you have anything to do or complete you will have to do it in this life and in this world. People who believe in parallel worlds. Just a friendly reminder that the sheer size of world is enough to have uncountable worlds at infinite distance from each other so that no world interferes with the other.
It is easy to see even if the belief of God is established then there are various religions there to pray or praise them. Why is there a need for people to pray ? Priests say that God loves his people and he needs to be prayed; for him to help them. Tell me if you loved somebody you would want him to ask you every time he wanted or you would give him anything he wanted even if he doesn't ask for it.what about gifts then shouldn't they be given to people you love. These reasons deal with the concept of prayers. If not tell me how do you look at this world. A world that consists of poverty, war, sadness, hatred. If theses were created in this world by the creator then such imperfection or lack of control is nothing to be praised or thanked about. I would rather like to rebel against his judgment and creation and would recreate the whole world than live in this one suffering. So why would anybody want to thank him. There may be devil who created these but as everybody says the creator can only be one so he is either a God or a Devil. If it is Devil, then we can all agree on the fact that we would never ever worship a devil. Even if it is the God then who wants to worship a God who has created evil and vices in this world. He may have created good but why did he think important to also introduce evil. Is it not his weakness or are we just his tools so that he may watch and play with us. As long as i live i would think about these things and until i find proof about God i would live to be called agnostic. So if you find an answer or reason for any of the above you may still try convincing me or else just forget it.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Trip to Jammu
This one was a trip to remember not only because of the out of the world places and scenic views I got to see but also on the variety of people that i met here. Just a bit of history here, there was a 4 week long curfew in my hometown, Indore and a 8 day long curfew in Jammu. My trip began the very next day the curfew in Indore was over and in Jammu for the only 2-3 days there was no curfew. When i left Indore the curfew was just lifted and when i left Jammu a bigger curfew was going to start. The reason was a Hindu- Muslim tussle for the land allotted to the Amarnath Shrine Board.
After just a 5-hour train journey i reached Jammu at 4 a.m. in the morning. It took me more than an hour to find a hotel. I mean i had to walk for 1 hour before getting a place for my favorite pass time, the sweetest and the ever available Sleep. After the you know what we took a taxi later in the day. We visited the (always available anywhere in India) temples in Jammu. A surprising fact was the presence of every kind of sculpture in every temple that is idols of a lot of Gods in one temple. A not so surprising fact was the salesman kind of approach of the temple priest's. They were selling the prasad(sweets) right inside the temple in front of the idols. Next i visited the underground aquarium. Here i found a large variety and species of fishes. My favorite fishes were the piranha, cat fish and shark. I know what you people will observe from the names but i have a odd liking for the most dangerous of fishes than the most beautiful ones. People seeking beauty would like the rainbow fish, blue eyed and wave fishes too.
Next stop Mansar lake, the sheer size of the lake was very astonishing. It took me an hour of boating just to cover the 1/10th portion of the lake. Another fact about this lake is the amount of fishes one can find in this lake. When i was feeding those fishes from one of the feeding spots( a high rise that went inwards in the lake) i saw more than thousand fishes of half foot length coming near the rise for the prospect of food. i even saw 1-2 giant tortoise. After finishing my stock of fish food, i could not even see a inch of water free for as far as i could see. We even went to see the forest reserve near the lake i saw 8-10 different animal species. Though didn't tell about this Amber who wanted to go to the national sanctuaries with me and we couldn't.
The next day it was a wake up alarm at 6'o clock that woke me up from my slumber. So i was sleeping in the car while we were traveling to Patnitop Hill. So no photos of on the way natural scenes. At Patnitop i saw the apple garden, Nag temple, some colorful flower gardens. On the return journey due to excess of time we went to the Miami beach of Jammu, Jajarkotti river. Now this was a place i would have spend the whole day without getting wee bit bored. I had fun time swimming, diving and even running on the beach. After that the Jammu trip ended with the shopping and sightseeing.
After just a 5-hour train journey i reached Jammu at 4 a.m. in the morning. It took me more than an hour to find a hotel. I mean i had to walk for 1 hour before getting a place for my favorite pass time, the sweetest and the ever available Sleep. After the you know what we took a taxi later in the day. We visited the (always available anywhere in India) temples in Jammu. A surprising fact was the presence of every kind of sculpture in every temple that is idols of a lot of Gods in one temple. A not so surprising fact was the salesman kind of approach of the temple priest's. They were selling the prasad(sweets) right inside the temple in front of the idols. Next i visited the underground aquarium. Here i found a large variety and species of fishes. My favorite fishes were the piranha, cat fish and shark. I know what you people will observe from the names but i have a odd liking for the most dangerous of fishes than the most beautiful ones. People seeking beauty would like the rainbow fish, blue eyed and wave fishes too.
Next stop Mansar lake, the sheer size of the lake was very astonishing. It took me an hour of boating just to cover the 1/10th portion of the lake. Another fact about this lake is the amount of fishes one can find in this lake. When i was feeding those fishes from one of the feeding spots( a high rise that went inwards in the lake) i saw more than thousand fishes of half foot length coming near the rise for the prospect of food. i even saw 1-2 giant tortoise. After finishing my stock of fish food, i could not even see a inch of water free for as far as i could see. We even went to see the forest reserve near the lake i saw 8-10 different animal species. Though didn't tell about this Amber who wanted to go to the national sanctuaries with me and we couldn't.
The next day it was a wake up alarm at 6'o clock that woke me up from my slumber. So i was sleeping in the car while we were traveling to Patnitop Hill. So no photos of on the way natural scenes. At Patnitop i saw the apple garden, Nag temple, some colorful flower gardens. On the return journey due to excess of time we went to the Miami beach of Jammu, Jajarkotti river. Now this was a place i would have spend the whole day without getting wee bit bored. I had fun time swimming, diving and even running on the beach. After that the Jammu trip ended with the shopping and sightseeing.
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