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Friday, November 7, 2008

Religion - Battle for Gods

Battle of Religions

I wanted to avoid this one but with the increase in amount of people trying to convince me in Gods, Religion and Religious Ceremonies. I had to state the obvious. People believe in Gods for they believe in religion. Such is there belief sometimes that they even want to take the life of a fellow being to prove the supremacy of their own belief. My friends say these are kind of people who will kill for any reason, contrary to my belief that a man who kills others always has a reason to do so. So does religion only cause death or is it also the oracle of doom.

Gods as we call them or rather God if You have your own sole belief. If i take my religion for example there are Gods for everything like the God of wind, fire, water, sky, and even death(similar to Greek, Norse or even Egyptian but more in number). Gods were supposed to do anything but they were similar to humans(having properties similar to them, properties like anger, revenge, even war). If you call them Gods then all living beings would be God. If your belief is that there is a sole creator that has created the world and looks after it then you may be near the truth but yet far away. There may be a single creator for somebody has to be there if a thing is made for having made it but then the cycle is a never ending one. Existence of something means creation of it and Creation requires a Creator then who created the Creator. When i was younger i had given a lot of thought to this. My only conclusion was that there was no God to start the world. Then what was there in the world? How did we or our creator come into being? The only answer is the existence of a non-existent world(A world of nothing). If I had to believe in any God the it would be a God of Nothing and we do not need to worship anything if we believe in nothing.

A majority of people believe in after life. They think that as they never received any justice in this world they would get it in the another place after their death. Then why not die now if you dream of a place so great like heaven that is waiting for you on the other side. Why live in this world of diplomacy and survival. The reason is that there is no heaven and there is no hell. We came from nothing and to nothing we will go. So if you have anything to do or complete you will have to do it in this life and in this world. People who believe in parallel worlds. Just a friendly reminder that the sheer size of world is enough to have uncountable worlds at infinite distance from each other so that no world interferes with the other.

It is easy to see even if the belief of God is established then there are various religions there to pray or praise them. Why is there a need for people to pray ? Priests say that God loves his people and he needs to be prayed; for him to help them. Tell me if you loved somebody you would want him to ask you every time he wanted or you would give him anything he wanted even if he doesn't ask for it.what about gifts then shouldn't they be given to people you love. These reasons deal with the concept of prayers. If not tell me how do you look at this world. A world that consists of poverty, war, sadness, hatred. If theses were created in this world by the creator then such imperfection or lack of control is nothing to be praised or thanked about. I would rather like to rebel against his judgment and creation and would recreate the whole world than live in this one suffering. So why would anybody want to thank him. There may be devil who created these but as everybody says the creator can only be one so he is either a God or a Devil. If it is Devil, then we can all agree on the fact that we would never ever worship a devil. Even if it is the God then who wants to worship a God who has created evil and vices in this world. He may have created good but why did he think important to also introduce evil. Is it not his weakness or are we just his tools so that he may watch and play with us. As long as i live i would think about these things and until i find proof about God i would live to be called agnostic. So if you find an answer or reason for any of the above you may still try convincing me or else just forget it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Trip to Jammu

This one was a trip to remember not only because of the out of the world places and scenic views I got to see but also on the variety of people that i met here. Just a bit of history here, there was a 4 week long curfew in my hometown, Indore and a 8 day long curfew in Jammu. My trip began the very next day the curfew in Indore was over and in Jammu for the only 2-3 days there was no curfew. When i left Indore the curfew was just lifted and when i left Jammu a bigger curfew was going to start. The reason was a Hindu- Muslim tussle for the land allotted to the Amarnath Shrine Board.

After just a 5-hour train journey i reached Jammu at 4 a.m. in the morning. It took me more than an hour to find a hotel. I mean i had to walk for 1 hour before getting a place for my favorite pass time, the sweetest and the ever available Sleep. After the you know what we took a taxi later in the day. We visited the (always available anywhere in India) temples in Jammu. A surprising fact was the presence of every kind of sculpture in every temple that is idols of a lot of Gods in one temple. A not so surprising fact was the salesman kind of approach of the temple priest's. They were selling the prasad(sweets) right inside the temple in front of the idols. Next i visited the underground aquarium. Here i found a large variety and species of fishes. My favorite fishes were the piranha, cat fish and shark. I know what you people will observe from the names but i have a odd liking for the most dangerous of fishes than the most beautiful ones. People seeking beauty would like the rainbow fish, blue eyed and wave fishes too.

Next stop Mansar lake, the sheer size of the lake was very astonishing. It took me an hour of boating just to cover the 1/10th portion of the lake. Another fact about this lake is the amount of fishes one can find in this lake. When i was feeding those fishes from one of the feeding spots( a high rise that went inwards in the lake) i saw more than thousand fishes of half foot length coming near the rise for the prospect of food. i even saw 1-2 giant tortoise. After finishing my stock of fish food, i could not even see a inch of water free for as far as i could see. We even went to see the forest reserve near the lake i saw 8-10 different animal species. Though didn't tell about this Amber who wanted to go to the national sanctuaries with me and we couldn't.

The next day it was a wake up alarm at 6'o clock that woke me up from my slumber. So i was sleeping in the car while we were traveling to Patnitop Hill. So no photos of on the way natural scenes. At Patnitop i saw the apple garden, Nag temple, some colorful flower gardens. On the return journey due to excess of time we went to the Miami beach of Jammu, Jajarkotti river. Now this was a place i would have spend the whole day without getting wee bit bored. I had fun time swimming, diving and even running on the beach. After that the Jammu trip ended with the shopping and sightseeing.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Of my friends how many would have thought that i look like a 10th class kid. That too in my 3rd year of college but a girl had to do that. Wow i look young. Okay just my luck had to share my train compartment with a girl on the first day of my travel in the northern regions of the country. Well i am not exactly unhappy but looking six years smaller than you are isn't the best way to start a journey. A train journey in the AC compartment of the Malwa Express into Ludhiana,Punjab.

Well, Welcome to my travel log. First stop what else but the railway station. Went to visit the Diesel Loco shed. Just to inform my friends i did not wake up in there i walked up to it. So what exactly did i do there. I learned about how to drive a railway engine. Not that i learned anything. I did look up everything pretty closely inside the engine even ran it for some time(couldn't move it). Some person had the courage to tell me about all the parts of the engine even the ones that are below the train. I call him courageous because he really tried fighting a lost battle. Common i could not remember most of the things even six hours later back in my hotel room. I will have to say here that i did try to learn but the sheer amount of the buttons, controls, switches, parts actions were 5 times more in number and complexity to those that i have seen in a fighter plane. If we had a single train driver than i would do nothing but envy that guy more than a pilot anytime for the amount of work he would be doing to control the machine.

After that back to the most usual of the "things to do while traveling" a.k.a. Shopping. When a lot of your friends have told you to bring them souvenirs you gotta just find the market and start onto a shopping frenzy. Those who want to know how was it. I have got some good news. From now on Indore is not the only one on my list for Ludhiana has not only challenged it but in their rivalry came out as the winner. The list my dear friends is the list of "THE WORST ROADS IN THE COUNTRY". I had thought during my previous travel that i would never see worst roads than i have seen in M.P. but now i stand corrected for i had never been to Ludhiana before.

People cheering for Indore have no need to get so much happy for what Ludhiana has lost in its roads has been compensated by its people. I found the most of the people in Ludhiana having a very helping nature and even the rickshaw drivers have nice-nature. I also found a great idea for the transit system from this place. They increase the size of the Auto so that it could easily accommodate six-seven people. Autos going in the same direction keep on collecting and dropping people en route from specific places to other places similar to our buses. The permit of the autos are thus cheaper as they only have to drive on the same route rather than move all around the city and is cheaper for the people too. An auto ride that would have cost them 50-60 Rs. just costs them about 10 Rs.

Back to the shopping. Shopping was mostly due to the large list of Monty's and rest was the gift, souvenir shops. So all i saw was these shopping areas only. I did do some sight seeing and window shopping also but that was mostly limited to time. I would like to add that i did enjoy the large size hot dogs, hamburgers and my first KFC's Chicken experience. Damn, i just got hungry again. Nothing like the hot dogs of my hometown though. That is all for Ludhiana folks.

Well here i am now waiting in the waiting room of platform no. 1, writing to pass my time before leaving for Jammu. U may get more from ours own about my journey there too if i get time to write. In all if you are planning to visit Ludhiana anytime soon then you should come prepared for shopping for the count of places of visit is pretty low here. Adieus Amigos my dear friends.

Saturday, September 27, 2008



It is in this age when we stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about ourselves that we didn't know and may not like. We start feeling insecure and wonder where we will be in a year or two, but then we get scared because we barely know where we are now.

We start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that we thought we were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people we have ever met, and the people we have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What we don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as we are.

We look at our job... and it is not even close to what we thought we would be doing, or maybe we are looking for a job and realizing that we are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares us all.

Our opinions have only gotten stronger. We see what others are doing and find ourselves judging more than usual because suddenly we realize that we have certain boundaries in our life and are constantly adding things to our list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, we are insecure and then the next, secure.

We laugh and cry with the greatest force of our life. We feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and we try and cling on to the past with our own dear life, but soon we realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where we are or move forward.

We get our heart broken and wonder how can someone that we loved so much could do such damage to us. Or else we lie in bed and wonder why we can't meet anyone decent enough that we want to get to know better. Or maybe we love someone but we also love someone else too and cannot figure out why we are doing this because we know that we aren't such a bad person. We want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that has become top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. We begin to think that a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once we would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise we had never thought of until now. We go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with our friends about the same topics because we cannot seem to make a decision. We start worrying about the loans, the money, the future and making a life for ourselves... and while winning the race would be great, right now we'd just like to be a contender!

Every one reading this may try to relate to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Dear friends maybe it will help you all feel like you people aren't alone in their state of confusion as we all are feeling the same way...For this is what we can call as the "Quarter-life Crisis" of our life. And together we will all pass through it successfully.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Check out Plan


I want you to take a look at : Plan

Just came across an innovative site to help Bihar Flood victims. Shows how one can contribute without actually spending anything or being physically present by spending 60 seconds of one's time. Just have to answer simple questions, and sponsors will pay to the NGO on your behalf. Kindly spread the word. (

IF by Rudyard Kipling - THE BEST POEM ABOUT LIFE


IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
// Tells how to deal the most problematic fools and people who believe you to be foolish. So the next time you tell me i am odd, just remember that i believe in these lines and that is the only reason you are safe.//

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
// Well this is one thing i have ample amount in me. I can trust not just me but also all my friends. i always trust that i will do things better for humanity, me and my friends while i trust my friends that they will never think or plan anything that will hurt me. //

But make allowance for their doubting too,
// Whenever you are in doubt just call me. you don't trust me then no need to call me just leave me alone and i will know.//

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
// Common i have been waiting for 19 years for the perfect woman of my life, do i look tired to you. just kidding i have patience enough in games but am extremely impatient while i am waiting for replies.//

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
// OK nobody's perfect so i do do deal in lies, rather i am heavily involved in lying and deceiving but not in the case of my friends unless its for fun. Also my friends are reminded that i have been lying from when i was eight so i can easily read through your lies but i just do not tell. //

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
// This is something i can not help about. I know half half the world hates me but then again who cares. I know this for sure that i can never hate anybody even my worst enemy for more than 10 minutes. //

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
// I do not look good as i am freedom minded person so this was never a problem to keep. Wise talk comes with my high IQ so that can be left alone. //

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
// I just aim never dream. I aim to sleep or eat every chance i get. Just kidding. I always dream big and different. Work my heart out and dream on. //

If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
// Everybody can think so i will leave this here. //

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
// Well i keep only happiness in my life so triumphs are specially to be enjoyed. Even the ones of others. So party coopers this is the reason i ask for parties :) . I do take disaster lightly as they do not effect me. I can walk pass through every disaster this i know for sure. //

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
// I desire only to learn how to do this for i cannot bear manipulations and fools or innocents being trapped. //

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
// This is possible for me only if i have friends to support me. I do not friends to help but to be with me every time such thinks break. //

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
// These are my favorite lines from the poem. This is the way i want to treat the life. I have to take every loss and start again. This is why i liked the computer the best and why i choose computer science. For every time i format computer i know i will find better things to put back. Every time i loose some file i know how to make another better one. //

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
// If i go by my horoscope i will outlast everybody i love so i am already preparing for that. //

And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
// Better to die than live such a life but i can always hold on for others or if i know there is something still left to do or complete. //

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
// I do not change with people and that includes everything. //

Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
// I keep my ways with common people and just keep in touch with kings. It is this desire that makes me roam out. //

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
// No foe of mine can hurt me for i can take any loss or any failure without being hurt. Then again it is compensated as i am one who gets hurt the most by friends, i am the worst in handling treachery. //

If all men count with you, but none too much,
// I think trying to be friends with everybody i meet, may have brought some of this in me.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
// I really need this but i am not able to change the happy go lucky attitude in me. Maybe some time later for a reason important enough i may even learn this. //

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
// ENCHANTEE isn't it. These last two lines just hit the heart like a bull's eye bullet shot. //

HOPE you people like the poem if not the notes and just a friendly reminder this thoughts were my current and personal thoughts which may change at later date so do not just weigh me by these.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Classroom Thoughts

Okay this article is the noting of thoughts that came to my mind in a free lecture in our college. some of my friends in my college may even remember me writing it up.

A thing came into my mind that day. A River is the start of the ocean. If we take the whole route for a small river we see that a waterfall may become a river and that river would flow around many landscapes to find it's way to the ocean. Thus the river belongs to the never ending mass of ocean itself.

What i really thought from this is that my life looks pretty similar to that of a river. It started with a small beginning. I lived a life which can be said to be complete in itself, making my way through the various phases of life, going past the obstacles, crushing through the difficulties. In all finding the easiest path to reach the end which may be the ocean or the death (For people who hate death talk i would like to state a Chinese proverb that i found in a war book, here - ""Think of Death while living and notice Danger while Safe.""). Every day a live and every moment i flow, the days of the ocean come closer. The time is coming when the final battle shall come before the ocean or even the mainframe of the society (crossroads of the rivers.).

The battle that i talk about would be the one to change the society in its completeness, to make a bit of change in every river that i meet. In the end we have all been the part of the society that we have taken from and given so much to. For while we are flowing everything that we may gain may it be knowledge, success and even failure in the life we will be ending in the same waters. The change i talk is not political or religious as some may think but philosophical or rather theological in nature.

Friday, August 29, 2008

BIRTHDAY TIME (just a month to go)

Well i had started this blog as a diary but it is turning out to be a place where i am explaining my past and present rather than daily happenings. A lot of people believe or rather most of them believe that i am a whole lot of enthusiastic and fastidious* about my birthday. (* meaning hard to please and excessively concerned)

So here i am to tell all concerned why is it that i love my birthday so much and why i wait for it and prepare for it. It is a day i am waiting for every year and even the whole year. Before reasoning i would like to ask you some simple questions.

When is a day when all you friends call you without desire ?
When is a Day you get to do all you want and people don't ask why?
When is a Day you get a lot of gifts from people ?
When is a Day you can party all day long ?
When is a day you can call your own special one ?
and many more such questions

Well all these questions would surmise to a single day that would be my birthday. I live everyday of my life for others and it is only my birth day that i leave for myself . Well some of my friends believe for me birthday is about birthday gifts. They are not that afar. I like the prospect and the nature of gifts. Gifts were something that you do not buy in your normal day to day life. These are things you desire but do not need. It is because of that i like people to think what gifts they are going to give me. I also like gifting people for every good reason i get. For history reasons i have been gifting people from when i was 14 and even on Christmas. Even gave gifts of as small as 5 rs. at that time. It is for that same reason that i like getting gifts.

Well that was the past, now for the future. I have given up on this idea completely for the sake of new friends who do not share the idea nor the aptitude for it. My birthdays were supposed to be fanciful and desirable but now they are just some birthday and only i am interested. For me the birthday days are over as the interest of the people around me has just gone. I still remember when i had a calendar specially marked for my birthday and i would cancel each day towards it. i didn't even buy calendar for it this year. As those who were interested aren't here anymore and those who are here are not interested.

Saturday, July 26, 2008


Depth of the mind is like the depth of the ocean no one knows how deep it may be. I do not know the reason for it but the human psychology and its analysis came to me from birth. I was always able to find the good and bad both in people not that i ever used it much. But i would be able to easily understand a person fully. It is for this reason i trust even the people other never were able to trust. The more people i met, the more prominent this quality seemed to get. Though through the years i learned the art to look for both good and bad in a person but i kept only their good in my mind and leaving them and their thoughts alone.

Circumstances around me kept on changing all the time and so did the people around me. I had once read that things change and then people change. One thing kept in my mind though i was not able to change or rather i did not want to change. i saw a lot of people changing around me for right or wrong but i seemed to be developing yet similar. It would be right to say that i did not want to change at all, i liked my way of living. I could never force myself even to do what affected people around me the most. Be it the T.V., world news or movies even social matters. I never liked the seeded way of enjoyments like pub, disco, sex. I did try them all for the sake of my friends but they never attracted me and i ended up distancing myself from all these materialistic drama.

People would say or believe that for my Eccentric way of thinking i would only have few friends. Strangely though be it for my psycho-analytical mind or care-free behavior or the search for friendship that i always ended up with a lot of friends anywhere i went. it was even surprising when even the most introvert people would open their hearts to me. People would tell me things and even their worries and problems without me having to ask them.

I would like to tell my new friends here though most my school friends had already found this. i had gone beyond the humane parameters of the word Acceptance. Such is its level that i would even accept the worst tragedies in my life within a day and move on without rethinking about the past. i would even see through an attempted treachery, let it happen and never rethink about what had happened or have any feelings toward the wrongdoer. It did result in a matter of concern though i do not know how to react around a sadistic person. I would also never know what to do or how to react when in the vicinity of a crying person. The best reaction i have been giving until now is to run away from the person as fast as i can. In such cases i do not care who that person concerned is he can be my best friend or even she can be my sister. (i have even done it at college a lot of times though few may have registered it.) People who are getting angry or rather touchy with my behavior or may be remembering how i have done the same with them. I want to tell them that this problem or rather the solution is in my first things to learn in life list. So my friends are allowed to believe that maybe the next time they end up crying(may it never happen), i would be with them and even for them. So on For The Infinite Time Of Our Friendship.

Monday, June 23, 2008


Okay just finished with my exams, and after ending with the last argument not to take the effort of starting my own blog , here i am with my first post. Anybody who knows me would know i really do not like making any efforts that require the most hated word ""work"". So why am i writing this because somebody promised me a cake if i do this and anything for sweet and junk food as i always say. Enough of the background i think.

Well anybody who has opened this already would know who i am and all the basic ideas about me if he doesn't then just click on the title and find out as you see i really want to minimize the effort. Some people would want to know why i choose ""esterian tale"" as the name of my personal blog not something that would be more personal like maybe harshal's blog or charry's blog or ballack's blog (this one would be free publicity) or digital's blog (college people would really like this one) or any of the umpteen names my friends call me like dexter, jughead, fubu, gibbs, potter etc. the list is just too big to remember and write but i think you people get the idea.

Well the reason is that when i had to choose my biggest dream or rather a life's aim, i had great ideas but no name to it so i gave the only name that came into my mind. The name was ""esteria"". Now what exactly is special about this place. It is supposed to be the land of eternal peace, freedom and every good thing you can imagine without any of the vices. There would be no competition, no rivalry, no war and people would co-exist without any bad feelings for other people. It would be a place where people would easily search for their dreams where they would be free to make their choices.

This is the dream i have gave my life too to make a start towards creating such a place and whatever i try to do, i try to come closer to achieving this dream. i think this one is long enough to be the first post and people do not worry i would not be writing this long or this seriously.